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IT'S ABOUT LOVE

by Feel Loudly

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1.
It's a cosmic joke And I wanna know Who else is in on it? It's a cosmic joke And I know, oh I know We're all a part of it Send out a signal, show me a sign Call out a name, throw me a line Ha ha ha ha These babies laughing and I know Yeah, they're in on it Chill fish swimming past his friends We all know they're so in on it Tiny black beetles crawling through the cracks Oh yeah, they're in on it Oak tree standing strong Must feel so loud to be so in on it Yeah to be so...
2.
Sit back now silently Just listening to the near misses Ball one, ball two, foul ball, and you Find my eyes from across the room Sending out our signals Crucibles and dogwhistles Shibboleths from enchantresses On walkie channel IV fixes Woah, yeah we're never going back again Now we're speaking different languages Genie out the bottle Now he's glued down to your couch Inhaling bong rips, eating pop tarts Throwing up right in your open mouth And you try to scheme him back inside Like a massive flying cockroach Rolled up magazines and broom bristles Cup and paper Rube Goldbergs Woah, yeah we're never going back again Now we're speaking different languages Will you ever hold down a job again? Will you ever make any more friends? Will you ever let your mind relax and Find a sense of satisfaction? Woah, yeah we're never going back again Now we're speaking different languages
3.
I’m feeling empty After the month that we’ve been through Yeah I’m feeling empty Without you Seen that turn It’s coming ‘round But I fall to failure As it’s going down And it’s easier to stress about going too The last best thing I’ve got feeling Hold it tight, don’t wait for me In our time of monsters Struggling for the new I start sinking Into this knotting, nauseous banyan tree As snowflakes never set Out my window down on 2nd Avenue Take time to carry me through these years With seeds of chaos sprouting betwixt my ears We’ll finally end up wrong But I’ll beat you there before too long Out in a conscious haze of nowhere Press it onto paper Carve it into rock Imprint it on the clouds To wring out something at all Plodding along, I’ve fallen apart And it’s never coming back The third thing to come out and gather back But it gets hard to remember it When you’re living your life for a good CV It gets hard to remember it With half-worn sweaters piling around me It gets hard to remember it So look close in the mirror as I say In four hours I’ll be four hours away I’ve fallen in I’ve fallen in I've fallen in I've fallen in I've fallen in I've fallen in I've fallen in I've fallen in
4.
What about the running in circles, lost? What about our friends sitting on the sidewalk? What about this feeling of moving on? Post-it countdowns I’m peeling off the wall What about me needs this more than now? What about orange skies and rubble? What about our new face of growing old? While we’re drowning outside these bubbles, now What are you gonna do today to show up at your job? What about our lost futures and the moments when they get caught up? What about love in the time of [insert whatever plague you want]? Yeah what about love? If we tried to make it far away Running ourselves past the fence Feel it flow like fires through the Pentagon While we live-stream from the refugee camps And I’m going home But it all falls down Yeah, it all falls down And oh I’m going home But it all falls down Yeah, it all falls down And oh What about love? What about love? What about love? What about love?
5.
Yeah it's... Love in the time of algorithms Love in the time of myths stuck in us Love in the time of company lines Waterboarding our once open minds Love in the time of algorithms Love in the time of gross ambition Love in the time of "fuck the room" "Fuck the kids," yeah, well fuck you too We've got love
6.
Is it COVID, Or is it just 2022 malaise? Are we human, Or are we meme dancer in our graves? I’ll fall to failure As I melt myself on a clock face Translating languages Futility wrapped in tentacular grace I'll fall to failure Come so far, had such a good run Blowing the race right at the finish line Getting over it soon But I can’t seem to feel my feet down in my pod goo Fall to failure and end up all alone I'll fall to failure Fall to failure and end up all alone
7.
Count your freckles on the wall In the car you’ll wait for me Newly caffeinated In the car you’ll wait for me As we cast off for better days In the car you’ll wait for me Go beyond, we'll see We'll see Set it off I'm going home
8.
No recollection of March through May But I know we were here via our streaming history So let's start printing it out and carve memes into brick So there'll be evidence of us beyond our cosmic imprints While right now we're circling and spiraling and running out of steam Fractals caught in our mazes and running out of steam So we'll live in our pods and eat our bugs But they'll be gluten free and taste like Chick-fil-A sauce And we'll lament no one's murdered Clarence Thomas yet And how it means our society's got no juice left As we crave some e-girl Robespierre Kickstarting our Space Gulag With her OnlyFans and her bright blue hair As we talk about love Yeah we'll talk about anything at all And everything beyond our walls And we'll talk on by And pretend like it's not everything And pretend like it's authentic me And pretend that I ain't scared And pretend that it ain't worth a thing Oh it ain't worth a thing But we're here, and I know That I've finally found the cost of alienating my soul Far beyond where I'd go We'll sing "get those eyes away from me" Oh, get those words away from me tonight Away from me tonight Away from me tonight Wait for me tonight
9.
Yeah it's Love in the time of algorithms Love in the time of absent vision Love in the time of loud feelings While we thoroughly design against them happening Love as art which transcends Love as basement show with friends Love as people being people We're blobs on a rock, feeling loud through what can you reach you
10.
Maybe we, we were trapped in the moment That we needed to level up Looking back on freshman year Who’d ever thought that we’d end up here? We were pissed off, broken open And sometimes silence says more than words can And sometimes it don’t Maybe that’s what happened with it an hour ago
11.
For a while look right at you Then scan around this old room Do I care about any of this? Does any of this even matter? I fell down twice, but got worse Still on this couch with no words Do I care about any of this? Does any of this even matter? I’m fucking over this shit I’m fucking over this shit I’m fucking over this shit Throw it out and start it all over I’m not an afraid person Never been an afraid person Fuck that be your own person What else could even matter? I’m fucking over this shit I’m fucking over this shit I’m fucking over this shit Throw it out and start it all over Caught in a misanthropic daze Building to misanthropic days And months and years and lifetimes What’s done is done, it’s our time These months and years and lifetimes What’s done is done, it’s our time
12.
Wait for the smile break We must be joking You gotta know this is a joke Oh wait, it's not, oh no So feed me that company line I'm so hungry, please say it one more time Feed me that company line Oh when is art? Not here, no not this time As we find ourselves clawing against the wall Just think of the room Just think of the room Just think about people We're all just people But you'll be long gone Probably never stepping foot in Run these analytics and get more cutthroat for the next one This stupid fucking joke As we find ourselves clawing against the wall Sanding down our fingertips On gentrifying exposed brick How will you classify this? Who gives a shit, you got your money As we find ourselves clawing against the wall
13.
Feel it down in the back of my skull Feel it tapping open, like we've now begun Feel it down in the back of my skull Oh it feels like god's been watching Feel it down in the top of my lungs Mixing with the saltwater and drops of Kiehl's musk Feel it down in the top of my lungs Like I'm going nowhere, and somewhere, and everywhere fast now We're gonna find something to say and to show For every single day that passes by from now on Gonna make new art; throw it around Inverting our speech in ways we'll keep finding out Gonna find out But let's leave things open ended Feel it down in the pit of my gut Bus ride home from school after I know I fucked up Yeah I feel it down in the pit of my gut But feels like I know it will end Oh I know it will end, yeah Feel it flying through the halls Feeling the drop; trusting the thrust up Feel it flying through the halls When I'm going, I'm gone and you won't find me I'm gone
14.
Yeah it’s Love in the time of algorithms Love in the time atomizing us Love in the time of reaching out Finding community somehow Love in the time of algorithms Love in the time of global capitalism Still it’s love, no matter the fight No matter the carnage or digitized plight It’s about love

about

CONTEXT:
How do we build love and maintain humanity while the world is actively ending? How do we define love and in what ways can we develop the vocabulary and expressive ability to communicate this meaning? Are our current systems actively designed to prohibit this expressive process? In a world with so many people and so many ways to connect with them, we can paradoxically feel distant, so how do we build communication and express ourselves? These are big questions, and this album doesn’t really do shit to answer them.

CREATION PROCESS:
These songs were all recorded and finalized between August 2022 and July 2023 in apartments in East Harlem, NY & Hunts Point, Bronx, mostly over school breaks when I had the time to focus. As usual, most were done with guitar & vocal single takes laid down first, and then additional instrumentation added on top. A few tracks use drum loops from Splice as a foundation, and then we’re built up track-by-track from that. This is my first time using drum loops, so that was fun. Many of these songs had draft versions released on “Song Studies” EPs throughout the past year so I could figure out how to make music better. As with every new album I make, I feel like it’s my best work yet. Like most albums, it’s intended to be listened through in its given sequence.

Another part of the creation process had to do with coming up with the song titles. See the section below for more on that. Here’s the deal: the bulk of my artistic energy goes into the classroom. What’s left goes into writing and making songs. I’m not going to be playing the silly social media marketing games to try and become more popular. It feels gross as shit, I’m bad at it, and it doesn’t help make my actual art better. The random algorithmic plays from the song titles will just be a hopefully hilarious byproduct of this album creation process.

WHAT'S UP WITH THE TITLES?
In creating this album, I was thinking a lot about how the music landscape has shifted since I started making music as “Natty Ward” back in 2015. Now, the hegemony of streaming platforms like Spotify and their respective algorithms command music access, which ends up being pretty artistically depressing in many ways. Algorithms aren’t inherently a bad thing, but it’s a matter of who’s on the controlling end of them. When capital is in control, it’s gonna be a big yikes. While I’m not against leveraging technology to curate new art for us, there is something dubious and inhuman about how this gatekeeping algorithm is being driven by a massive corporation dependent on seeing its profits go up every fiscal quarter. It makes us question who the true “audience” of our music is. The audience should be the listener, but algorithmic channels are the ones delivering the music to the listener. In theory, art should be able to transcend these pathways. Something truly real and human should optimally be able to break through anything in its way to reach people. However, there are transcendent songs I’ve heard from friends and underground artists that have criminally low play counts on streaming platforms. In a world where play counts represent a whole lot more than they should, that’s pretty shitty. And this is happening for truly great songs by truly transcendent artists—leagues beyond me & my songs!

So as I built out the songs on this album, which thematically settle around this idea of how we build love and maintain happiness when the world is actively ending, the backdrop of my overt algorithmic-overlord audience loomed large. If art (as I like to define it) is that which effectively reaches its audience to evoke a desired response, then have I been consistently neglecting this spectral hidden audience throughout my artistic process? I began to view manipulating song titles as one of the more straightforward ways to shamelessly appeal to the powerful Algorithm Audience.

I have often been fascinated by song titles and some well-picked song titles have arguably been my only source of streaming success thus far. For example, my old 2017 Natty Ward track “Muppet Treasure Island” is still my only song that consistently gets streams. Almost all of them are from people mistakenly playing the song, thinking it’s from the movie (it’s not even remotely about the movie). It was even added to a playlist of songs from the movie, which has been driving most of my streams. To whomever made that playlist and mistakenly added me, thank you for my most consistent form of half cent royalties. Also, my 2016 Natty Ward song “Lori Beth Denberg” was able to get the attention of its namesake and now exists as the theme song to her podcast. Without my inappropriate titling, none of this would have happened. Are these songs that great? In the grand scheme, no. But did they somehow sneak around algorithmic search backchannels to reach real people? Yep! So let’s try and tap into that with an entire album track list.

Throughout this process, it was interesting to reflect on the storied history of nontraditional song titling. The biggest examples that comes to mind are the alternative rock/emo/pop punk movements of the 2000s. Many of us might recall those insanely long Panic! At the Disco and Fall Out Boy song titles that grew to represent this era. I remember having to painstakingly code these titles into iTunes from their Limewire-ripped MP3s. This was a compelling time for pop music. Atypical tilting was perhaps a way for these more “alternative” bands to separate themselves from the more mainstream “pop” stylings of the day. Someone would notice something “different” just from scanning the back of the CD case. The titles would often be inside jokes or long statements that had little to nothing to do with the lyrics. One could view this as a possible reaction to more mainstream pop songs named after the repeated lyric in the song. How does one compete with a certified classic pop banger like the appropriately titled “My Humps”? One subtle way could be through unique, almost unhinged titling. Standard titling nomenclature certainly makes a song easier to remember, seek out, and request by branding it with the catchiest line. So by eschewing these traditionally “easy” naming practices, these alternative bands were creating their own subcultures and in-groups within their music. You had to work harder to know what a song was called to request, discuss, or find it (on Limewire or otherwise). As a result, you had to spend more time & mental energy on the music, and it made the music seem more “cool” & outside of the mainstream. There’s more of a challenge now for the listener. There’s more of an active dialogue and actionable process between listener and artist/music. This is pop music trying to be more demanding, unique, and literally “alternative.”

So let’s take this idea and transpose it on to 2023. “Alternative” FM radio stations are long gone (shouts out to West Palm Beach’s 103.1 “The Buzz.” I still miss you). We still have Fantano types (who would probably have DJed a local alternative radio station back in the days of pre-Internet ubiquity), but in general, we have now offloaded our music curation to streaming platform algorithms. So how do we continue this bold alternative song titling tradition with these algorithms in mind? What if song titles were similarly long, but without any semblance of authenticity? That would certainly be representative of the dehumanizing nature of our current musical landscape. Our initial audiences are hardly still people, but rather the algorithms that disseminate art. With art in its best sense existing as an outpouring and channeling of love, how can that spirit be maintained through inhuman algorithmic filtering? Perhaps boldfacedly embracing this inhumanity is the best way to transcend it. Maybe it will work out. We’ll see. At the very least, maybe I’ll get some extra half cents from the clicks of confused people.

Coming up with the song titles was more difficult than I anticipated and ended up taking a while. I didn’t want to do something totally obvious and mainstream, like some Ed Sheeran/Taylor Swift/Drake/etc. song title or TikTok trend. The trick was to have something evergreen enough (not subject to fleeting trends of the month) and with a niche enough audience that people would still listen for at least 30 seconds. The other challenge was not directly writing other artists’ names within the titles. I wasn’t trying to dehumanize specific punkrock subcultural icons—artists I deeply respect—by using their names as algorithm fodder to capitalize on a ridiculous system. For example, I was playing around with straight naming a track “Paul Baribeau” (an antifolk icon who intentionally took his songs off Spotify), but figured that would be incredibly disrespectful to him and all he stands for. So I ended up focusing more on “word soup” titles that would appear in algorithmically generated playlists or titles seen around these platforms. I also figured pure nostalgia plays (like “Tony Hawk Underground,” which had the best soundtrack of all time, and “All That Theme Song”) were fair game at this point. “NPR Tiny Desk” and “Infinite Jest Full Audiobook (Part 1)” are massive enough entities that they can handle it. And “Chapo Trap House - The Hunter Biden Interview” felt a bit borderline, but the podcast is a big enough intellectual property (and doesn’t include individual names) that they could weather the joke, and I just found the title funny enough that I let it rock. When I first pushed these names through DistroKid, the song “TikTok Songs of the Summer” was flagged for potential “keyword flooding” (lol), so I simply added a space between “Tik” and “Tok” and I was good to go. No foul play here, “Tik Tok” is just a Kesha song!

This titling process has been in the works for a while, but now upon its release, it’s perhaps coming at the best time. Social media is actively imploding. Facebook is a corpse by now, Twitter is deliberately destroying itself, everything everywhere on every platform seems like someone trying to sell us something. Our internet consumption paradigm is crumbling, and I’m happy, through this album, to get in a tiny lil poke™ on its way down.

Thanks for listening (and for reading this damn thing). You are cool.


“REAL" SONG TITLES:
1. Cosmic Joke
2. Now we’re speaking different languages
3. i’ve fallen in i’ve fallen in i’ve fallen in i’ve fallen in
4. What about love?
5. Love in the Time of Algorithms 1: Company lines, waterboarding our once open minds
6. Is it COVID, or is it just 2022 malaise?
7. Count your freckles on the wall
8. E-girl Robespierre
9. Love in the Time of Algorithms 2: Blobs on a rock feeling loud through what can reach you
10. Maybe we were trapped in the moment that we needed to level up
11. Misanthropic Days
12. As we find ourselves clawing against the wall
13. Feels like god’s been watching
14. Love in the Time of Algorithms 3: IT’S ABOUT LOVE

credits

released July 26, 2023

Personnel:
Natty Ward - music & lyrics, vocals, guitars, bass, keys, beatbox, percussion, production, album cover design layout
Mimi - Album artwork drawing

Special thanks to Tim, Alex, Stephen, Emily, JJ, Sydney, and Jacob for help with the song titling process.


Gear:
MacBook Pro, Logic Pro, Focusrite Scarlett 2i2, AT2035 condenser mic, Breedlove Passport Plus D/CMe HH, Fender Mustang Bass, Casio CDP-S350, drum loops from Splice, various hand percussion instruments, blood/sweat/tears/etc.

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