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Song Studies V: set fire to our house and burn these old spirits out

by Feel Loudly

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1.
Flying out of my depths In 35,000 steps Swinging slow off the edge We’ll make this city our living room Everyone in our afternoon Our reconceived sabbath day Mark our weeks by Saturdays Feeling fast as I age Yeah I got those fresh new tunes Bells ringing in every room And we’ll linger at Union Stalling out our returning To our respective messes Ghosts, grief, and restlessness Here locked into loud feelings Sky pink with white moons beaming And I’ve got flowers in my eyes Yeah I’ve got my sense all tangled up Fate lines bursting through tipless gloves And I’m warm as hell Knowing there’s still all this time 8 of wands Filling me up Melting us in To pools of luck 8 of wands Without fail Feel it brew up Under a whale So bury me in this November
2.
Playing this guitar through my fresh stitches Blacking out my middle finger Can do all I need, even with this Cut up reminder of how we hurt This new house Feels much better empty I’m much fuller when empty All alone now Gotta test my time Louder than the crying Are we alive like this? Yeah we’re feeling alive Gushing out til I’m dry More and more alive And I’ll never need sleep I’m never gonna die So test my time Spinning out on our next steps Wasting time in a new mess I’m consumed here Learning how to move on And I’m feeling ungrateful And I’m feeling resentful I got everything These stitches burst And this house is cursed With ghosts of lost futures And I sit on the roof As spirits pour through Every vent and window Save some for you Stumbling up through the door With a confident new vocal tone we’ve never felt before God knows we’ve got more left to know than we’ve found out
3.
Up late now forever Rage, feigned calm, whatever We’ll get to see that sunrise soon To burn off what’s left of me and you Wait for its submission Soothed by sleep position Will we stay and get mummified here? Frozen til the next kind of people appear Just Vesuviused in first appearances No one will know the pain and arguments They won’t know shit at all And they don’t have to And they don’t have to And they don’t have to And they don’t have to And they don’t have to It’s just for us So fuck off You don’t know a fucking thing at all It’s just for us So fuck off Set fire to our house And burn these old spirits out It’s just for us Because I love you I have to It’s just for us Because I love you I have to It’s just for us Because I love you But I can’t trust you It’s just for us Because I don’t love you Now I don’t have to
4.
I’ll unknow my unknowing As I slip back out to supposing It’ll find a new way to resolve me All on its own But I Feel it down inside my shivers Forming us into salt pillars To melt away where we stand Entomb me under a Bushwick basement Bury my clothes out in the snow I’ve got no sense at all But there’s nothing in this world that could get me more An earful, ruptured where I stand ’Til I’m far gone, far out, and forgotten Nothing I rest on feels grounded New shrines for the gods, standing on This compounding mountain of dishes And a mouth filled with sand Stranger in this homeland Needles digging deeper in my hand Oh pay off these politicians And send me to bed Sprayed out over the runway Brains gushing through my window cracks Feel it loud on the airtrain Shudder to know that we ain’t coming back Far out or forgotten? I can’t tell; explode into my fate Spin in my chair and wait ’Til I’m far gone, far out, and forgotten Unlike now
5.
Feel loudly with the whole of our hearts Golden orbs wrapping us up in waves Feel loudly as it comes pouring out Don’t forget, this world’s what we’ve made And we could make it different Feel it out in the times like I’ve been waiting for All this time alone, thankful for it with you Yeah feel it out Just humans talking We can all feel it out With these tentacle monsters And I’m sorry But we’ll still keep on trying Still tryna find myself free You and me We’re going nowhere ‘Cause nothing is you So everyday we’ll feel loudly with the whole of our hearts

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voice memos, baybeeee

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released March 14, 2024

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